the night before MY surgery
The night before my surgery was when I was the most anxious.
I remember feeling like, am I really ready?
I double checked my hospital bag a million times.
I got my hair blown out ( I know this seems silly but it made me feel more confident)
I knew the only way to calm my nerves was to be distracted.
So my family and friends went out to a big dinner and we just laughed and talked and ate.
We barely brought up the surgery and I barely thought about it.
But when I got home that night reality sunk it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I remember turning on a hot shower and just balling my eyes out.
I was so scared and I felt so alone.
This is totally normal. We would be crazy not to be scared. This is a huge life changing decision.
I made sure to put on my air-diffuser with lavender because that always calms me.
And I repeated my mantra over and over in my head.
WARRIOR NOT WORRIER.